Change is in the Air

Change

Let that word sink in for a moment.

Change

What do you feel when you read that word? Some people feel excited when they see it. Others feel hope. For me, if I’m completely honest, I feel fear and anxiety. I am one of those many people who don’t like change.

Every time I’ve experienced change, it’s always something being removed from my life, something I thought was good or something I thought was going to be in my future. The word change strikes fear in my heart and mind, because it normally means something is going to be removed from my life and often, I don’t want to let it go.

We are currently in the middle of a season of change. The colors of the trees change, the weather changes, the time changes, change is all around and you can’t help but think about that dreaded word. Fall is one of my favorite seasons… which is so odd to say. This season that is all about change and transition from one season of life and abundance to renewal and things dying off, is my favorite season. That doesn’t make any sense to me. This morning I woke up and thought hard about that. My favorite season is the very thing I dread in my own life.

So, why do I love the season of fall?

It’s not because, BAM! Everything pumpkin spice. It’s not because of the time change. It’s not because of all the pretty colors, although that is a plus. It’s none of those typical things that comes with the season of fall that the media markets to all of us crazy fall people. It’s the closeness and safe feeling that I get when I’m warm, that I enjoy.

I lived in Southern California the majority of my life and for those of you that know Southern California well, you know that the only seasons are 1 month of maybe some cold weather that isn’t even close to be deemed as Winter and the remainder of the year is Summer. There is hardly anything in between. When I moved to the Pacific North West, I finally got to experience actual seasons and can now officially claim that Fall is my favorite season.

Since moving here, every Fall I get cold. Yes, you Southern Californians, being cold exists! In school, I went through a huge transformation and lost about 60 pounds. Since losing that weight, I get cold even in the Summer time when the wind picks up. Now going back to my explanation. I get cold and one of the first things I want to do is bundle up in a blanket and drink something warm. I cozy up to what comforts me, whether it be my dog, a fire or even a good book. So, why is it that in a season of change (we’re still talking about the season of Fall) I’m so ready to snuggle up to my comfort, but when my life is experiencing change, I don’t “snuggle” up to my God?

This question haunted me this morning. It’s easy to cozy up with things that are tangible like blankets and coffee, but it’s so much harder to have that Faith that God is wanting us to cozy up to Him when the going gets tough. Instead, I shy away from Him, thinking He’s punishing me for something I unknowingly did. I question Him when things change suddenly. I lash out at Him and ask why He’s not paying attention. In these moments, I picture God just looking at me with a smile on His face as I rant and rave. All the while, He knows what is in store for me. Once I get it all out and argue and fight and moan and groan about it and finally collapse at His feet, His smile widens and His hand rests on my shoulder as he comforts me, knowing I just exhausted myself worrying over something that may not necessarily be there to begin with. It’s in this moment that I realize, the very same reason I enjoy the season of Fall is the very thing I’m not doing in my own seasons of change.

This morning as I laid in bed, debating whether to lay there and wallow or get up and spend time with my God, I was reminded of the verse that stated “Behold, I am making all things new”. All day, those words have echoed inside my mind. It wasn’t until I looked up the verse that I realized why it was so important. It was God speaking to me.

And he who was seated on the throne said, “Behold, I am making all things new.” Also he said, “Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true.” Revelation 21:5

God allows us to go through seasons of change because it makes us new. Everything has to go through change in order to stay healthy and present in this life. My mind instantly goes to my schooling and inter-workings of our body. Skin replaces itself every 27 days on average. Bones replace themselves roughly every 10 years. Red blood cells replace themselves every 40 days. The colon and all the crap it deals with, replaces and sloughs off its cells for new growth approximately every 4 days. Our bodies go through change without us even truly knowing it or being aware of it… so why is it that some unforeseen circumstance, throws us for a loop and sends us out of control, questioning the very path God has set for us?

“See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.” Isaiah 43:19

We are not meant to stay the same. We are not meant to stand in place. Change helps us move forward and helps show us who God is. God is our comfort, our rock, our fortress in times of struggle and instead of cozying up to Him for comfort, we shake our fist at Him and question where He’s at, well… I can’t answer for anyone else, but that’s what I often do. I used to face change with the philosophy that if I’m experiencing it, it had to pass through God’s hands first and if it passed through God’s hands first, it must be for my good. I’ve lost sight of that way of thinking. I’ve lost sight of who I am as a child of God, a precious daughter of the creator of the universe, the one who holds time in His hands. Even as I write this, my heart knows it’s true, but change is all I see… and honestly, I just don’t see how things are going to turn out. But thankfully, that is not my job to figure it out. I’m along for the next adventure, even if I have no idea where it will take me or how it will grow me.

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Philippians 4: 6-8