Now What, God?

Have you ever reached a point in your life where you sit there as the dust settles and think… now what, God? I’m in one of those seasons currently.

I’ve just graduated with a doctorate, I’m licensed on a National level, but now I’m waiting for licensing on a State level… so there is a lot of waiting. And it doesn’t help that there is not many people to hang out and talk about this with because most of the people my age have jobs or families that they are attending to.

I’m not one to invade family time in order for me to feel sane or comfortable. I know reaching out is appropriate and I shouldn’t shy away from that, which I don’t, but my ability to reach out to people is pretty slim at the moment because most of my friends have other obligations. Granted, I could easily just reach out and throw some seeds and see what comes from it, and thankfully for the most part, I have. But, I’m finding it hard to connect with others due to busy lifestyles.

With all this free time, I’m left to my maddening thought life that gets me more into trouble than not. Can I give a shout out to all the over-thinkers out there? I shouldn’t be proud of that and truthfully, I’m not. I’m actually ashamed of how much I overthink and allow those thoughts that I’ve created to run my life. I’m finding myself creating more problems that never needed to be solved to begin with.

The other day, I sought advice from a business friend of mine about the process of opening a business loan. After learning what I could and getting a general idea of what to expect, he offered me some crucial advise that I didn’t know I needed.

He told me, “Don’t fight Saber-tooth Tigers.” He chuckled when my face gave away my confusion (I can’t hide my emotions to save my life). He then clarified, asking me what I would do if all of a sudden and gigantic Saber-tooth Tiger were suddenly in the room, it’s foot-long sharp teeth and huge build ready to attack, what my reaction would be. Well, obviously the answer is clear. I would probably drop dead from fear or maybe cower in the corner, accepting my fate. He then continued to explain the statement by saying we don’t have to worry about Saber-tooth Tigers because they are extinct and unless Jurassic Park were some how to become a reality, there’s no way we would ever have to fight that terrifying monster. He continued to tell me that our fear is very much like a Saber-tooth Tiger, a creation of what ifs that we may never have to face, anxieties or situations we may never ever come to and mountains that we may never have to climb. He told me to stay focused on what can be accomplished today, it’s how you avoid fighting Saber-tooth Tigers. So, that is my advice to anyone who is reading this, don’t fight what isn’t there.

It’s in moments like that, that I’m reminded of the passage in Exodus when the Israelite’s were being cornered by the Pharaoh and his Egyptian army at the Red Sea. Instantly, they lashed out at Moses saying that he should have left them in their position in Egypt as slaves instead of the “impossible” position at the Red Sea. Moses responded in Exodus 14:13-14, “Fear not, stand firm, and see the salvation of the Lord, which He will work for you today. For the Egyptians who you see today, you shall never see again. The Lord will fight for you, and you have only to be silent” and with that God instructs Moses to raise his staff and part the Red Sea to allow passage of the Israelite nation while the pillar of cloud guarded them from behind.

This same God fights for us today, something I forget so easily and take for granted. I may not understand why I’ve come to a season of loneliness and a season of depression, but God has not left me to fend for myself and he hasn’t left you either. He is there with us in our sorrow, in our struggle, in our personal battles that we fear have no hope of ever ceasing. He goes before us making our path straight when we acknowledge Him as stated in Proverbs 3:6 and guards us from behind as stated in Isaiah 52:12 because we are sometimes weak in those moments, finding it “impossible” to begin our movement forward. It may seem like He is not there, but He may be fighting off what we left behind to make sure we move forward and that whatever is behind, stays behind so as not to hinder our walk along the path He has already laid out for us. We have to be brave to follow His instruction, whatever that may be.

So, let’s not fight Saber-tooth Tigers. Let’s allow God to fight the battle that has already been won. God will make a way even if it seems there is no way. I ask God, now what? The only answer I think I can give is, on to the next adventure.